Forgive Yourself And Move On

 

All of us make mistakes at times. We all make mistakes. Oftentimes, through our actions, somebody gets hurt. As humans, we’re imperfect. It’s helpful to remember that mistakes, failures, and even incredibly stupid acts are part of being human. It’s how we learn and grow. If you’re never embarrassed or wrong and if you never make a mistake, you’re probably staying within a pretty narrow comfort zone. The trick is to learn and move on from our mistakes. As painful and uncomfortable as it may feel, there are things in life that are worth enduring the pain for in order to move forward, and forgiving yourself is one of them.

We hear a lot about the importance of forgiving those who have harmed us, but what about forgiving ourselves? Is that important as well? I believe that it is. Many of us know that forgiveness is a good thing, right? It frees us from bitterness and anger, these two emotions that not only don’t feel good but can also disrupt our physical health and mental health as well and hold us back from all the good we might achieve and experience. I know many of you have worked on forgiving others. But what about forgiving ourselves?

To release that part of your past that you need to forgive, it’s helpful to remember that we’re all doing the best we can at any moment. If you had known that your action would cause pain to others or yourself, you probably wouldn’t have done it, right? And even if you knew that you were causing damage at the time, you had no idea how much you would regret it in the future.

When you really love someone, isn’t it easier to forgive them? If you have a trusting, loving relationship with your friend, family and they do something that hurts you. You forgive them easily, don't you? But a lot of us don’t have that loving, trusting relationship with ourselves. Many of us are much more critical of ourselves than we are of others.

When we harm someone it is normal and healthy to feel bad about it, to experience regret, and to wish we could take it back or do something to make the person feel better. What isn’t healthy is to continually beat ourselves up for our offense and to determine that we are a bad person because of it. The first experience is generally thought of as guilt while the second is considered to be a shame. Not forgiving yourself is like picking at an open wound; you are only making a bad situation worse. 

Forgiving yourself is far more challenging than forgiving someone else, don't believe?  Okay, think back to the last time somebody apologized to you about something. Did you forgive them? There is a very good chance that you did. Now think back to the last time you harmed someone else. Have you forgiven yourself? Probably not. But we have to learn to forgive ourselves because you must live with yourself and your thoughts 24/7. 

Forgiveness is necessary and it's an important part of a self-care practice. In order to forgive ourselves, we first have admitted to ourselves that yes we did it wrong. We have to take ownership and acknowledge the flaw or mistake. We have to accept ourselves and our flaws. Know that despite your flaws, you are okay as you are. Your flaws, rather than making you “less” of a person, are what make you who you are. What you think of as a defect actually makes you far more interesting to others.

You are not perfect. You make mistakes. But you are also on a path of growth. Your mistakes and failures help you improve. As flawed as you may be, you must accept yourself, flaws and all, if you are to make progress in your life. You can do something wrong while still being a good person. A lot of guilt or shame can make you feel like there is something wrong with you.

 It's important to know that you are not a mistake. The action that you took was a mistake. You are separate from it, which means you have the power to choose a different action next time. Forgiveness comes so much easier when you can separate yourself from the action. Forgiving Yourself helps you to grow and heal. It helps you to live healthier, happier, and feel more fulfilled.

 

Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows.